Scared of change

CHANGE So I finished my three year undergraduate in psychology and sociology this May, little did I know what was to follow…

Throughout the three years I had worked for an agency, temping my way through Uni, it served me well but it was never a long term solution. I met some lovely people, learnt a lot about the working world and also a lot about myself. The day after I had finished uni (a Saturday) I distinctly remember this massive weight falling on my shoulder when I was sat in my room alone and without an assignment to complete… what do I do now? what do I fill my days with? Is life just downhill from now? I’m 22 and I don’t know what to do with my life!! ahhh!! so many questions and questions I felt silly about pondering over, everyone else just seemed to get on with it?? I had just said goodbye to all I had known for three years. So applications galore started happening, everything and anything full time I would apply for. Although with every application submission came another wave of anxiety, what will happen if i get it? what will the people be like? How will my social and family life be effected? It drove me CRAZY! Throughout this time in hindsight I can see I applied too much pressure on myself in a very short space of time, this not only affected me but also the people closest to me. That feeling of not knowing whats next and not actually knowing what I wanted to come next overshadowed a lot of my being. One of the parts that takes the most getting used to is having to remind yourself you don’t have uni assignments to be getting on with, as odd as that sounds I actually missed them, it felt like one of my only purposes had been taken away from me. Trivial I know and difficult to understand when you have not found yourself in that position, but lord how I missed those assignments.

We all know what they say though…. hindsight is a beautiful thing. I wanted to write this blog to anyone in that phase, in one of those ‘lost’ phases where you start to question a lot. TALK, talk talk talk to people closest to you, as long as you trust them they will keep your feet on the ground. Had I not talked to people I would probably still be climbing up my bedroom walls in a frantic state of panic. I can one hundred per cent appreciate this isn’t everyones reaction to life changes, but from one hater of big change to another.. you are far from alone. Reading this blog won’t change your next approach to a life change, people telling you it will be okay won’t change your next reaction, but knowing you are not the only one is comforting.

So another reason for writing this now is it also give readers and insight into why I am starting this blog I need to start giving myself new purposes, after all something has to replace those god forsaken sleepless nights writing essays, lab reports and the dissertation… oh that bloody dissertation. I would love to hear other peoples experiences with leaving school, uni or a job behind, so maybe leave a comment or pop me and email.

It would be nice to know I’m not the only one out there that tries their hardest to run in the opposite direction when the inevitable life change rears its head!

Much love,

Joanna x

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