Losing yourself to find yourself

Bit of a different one from me today but it is something I have been thinking a lot about recently… That feeling of ‘losing yourself’. Now if you’re anything like me you spend a lot of the time contemplating where you fit in, where you should be in your life, or if you’re doing the right thing. I’ve recently found a blogger who is making me tackle these questions in a very different way to how I have done previously. Her Instagram posts, blogs and entire backstory really struck some chords. So if these kind of things ring true with you check her out!

https://www.youtube.com/user/Carlyrowena

http://www.carlyrowena.com/

So this post 7 thought processes I try to avoid when I begin to feel that ‘lost’ kinda thing

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1. My least favourite is when I begin to start doubting choices I’ve made. Easier said than done I know but you need to nip these worthless questions in the bud and when they pop up in your head try the hardest you can to stop thinking about them, replace these questions with simple daily life questions, like… what shall I have for tea tonight. You’ve probably been told it a million times before and deep down you know it but there is NOTHING you can do to change the choices so stop wondering ‘what if’ and start wondering ‘where next’.

2. When you start to worry about how your life is affecting others, so long as you are happy in yourself everyone who matters around you will be happy. The key word here is ‘matters’, not everyone around you matters and the ones who aren’t happy for you when you’re happy aren’t worth keeping around. So stop fretting about pleasing everyone and start trying to please yourself and be someone you would be proud of.

3. If you aren’t happy with where your life is, stop wondering why or how you got to this point and start picturing where you want to be. Then take some REAL me time and start working out how you can get there. Research courses you will need to take, places you want to go and the sorts of people you want to meet along the way.

4. When you’re feeling really down, surround yourself with people who love you. Visit family, plan date nights. Sometimes being proactive about life progression is near impossible when your head gets in a rut. Stop being so hard on yourself and just take an afternoon to do something you love with people you love. Tackle the problems when you’re feeling less downtrodden.

5. DO NOT under any circumstances compare yourself to anyone else. This is the worst thing you can do. You are what you make of your life and in the end no one is going to remember you for how much you looked like Kim Kardashian.

6. When you’re questioning yourself, take a few minutes out to think about what you would say to someone who was doing the same thing. Sometimes the best advice comes from yourself and it just takes a few moments away from the situation to work that one out.

7. Remember, no body gets to where they want to be overnight. It takes hard work, determination and patience. As long as you remember this you will not get as frustrated with your current situation in time.   No one got to where they wanted to be without a god damn fight!

Always remember, it is not how you got to where you want to be, all that is important is that you get there.

Much love, 

Joanna xx

Psychology fun facts

As I’ve mentioned previously I am now a Psychology graduate, and i thought a good idea would be to share with you the TOP TEN little theories, models, and research which I found  not only super interesting to look at but also found so helpful when I applied them to by own life.

So here it goes, if there is anything else you would like me to expand on I have a feeling psychology related posts may become a predominate feature on my blog so Just ask, I’d love to ramble on some more about psychology *nerd alert*

 

10.  The spot light effect. Now I LOVED looking into this, in basic terms it means we believe people are paying more attention to us than they are. It is the idea that we are the centre of our consciousness, so we find it near impossible to comprehend that we aren’t at the centre of everyone else’s consciousness. So basically, no one actually cares if you fluff up because everyone around you is too busy worrying about what they are doing. woo!

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9. Memory loss occurs following on from an emotionally traumatic event. This is our brains way of defending itself from having to relive the emotions. Pretty clever huh? So don’t feel bad if you can’t emotionally relive traumatic times or even the time leading up to and following few days after it, it’s our brains way of telling us it’s probably for the best.

8. More of a biological fact but we had to do a lot of biology on the course I took – As you probably know we are constantly shedding and reproducing cells and in 7 years from the time you read this you will not have a single cell you have now. So in technical terms in 7 years time you’ll be a new person!

7. Research shows birth order does effect the person you become! So when your mum yells at you for being ‘too laid back’ tell her it is her fault for having you second.

 

6. Extraverts are less internally confident than introverts. So BIG UP TO THE INTROVERTS.

introverts5. We become.. to some extent a combination of the 5 people we spend the most time with, SO CHOOSE THOSE PEOPLE CAREFULLY! Whether we know it or not, you will imitate mannerisms, change the way you speak and present yourselves dependant on the people you have been spending time with.

4. Eye contact! So eye contact is such a good habit to get into, not only does it give someone more of an incentive to listen to what you are actually saying to them but it also increases your confidence in the situation!… in fact the only time I would advice avoiding eye contact is definitely while eating a banana.

3. In some cases there is no rhyme nor reason as to why some people recover from traumatic brain injury and some don’t. It’s debated it’s down to the type of person you were before the injury took place.

2. Excessive use of social media creates lower self esteem in an individual. It makes sense though doesn’t it? The more we read about other people the more we compare ourselves and the more we compare ourselves to other people the lower our self esteem. After completing a piece of research on this in my second year ever since I’ve made a conscious effort to spend as little time on Facebook and such likes as possible.

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1. And finally it’s now been absolutely drilled into me the positive and negative effects of taking anti-depressant drugs to combat depression, stress and anxiety. Do not get me wrong I am not saying they are a bad thing, I am saying they are not a long term solution though. All these drugs do are stop the symptoms, they stop the shaking or loss of appetite, sleeping pills help you sleep but they do not touch on any of the actually causes of these health problems.  To tackle them you need to change something other than adding taking a pill to your daily routine.

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Much love,

 

Joanna x