Losing yourself to find yourself

Bit of a different one from me today but it is something I have been thinking a lot about recently… That feeling of ‘losing yourself’. Now if you’re anything like me you spend a lot of the time contemplating where you fit in, where you should be in your life, or if you’re doing the right thing. I’ve recently found a blogger who is making me tackle these questions in a very different way to how I have done previously. Her Instagram posts, blogs and entire backstory really struck some chords. So if these kind of things ring true with you check her out!

https://www.youtube.com/user/Carlyrowena

http://www.carlyrowena.com/

So this post 7 thought processes I try to avoid when I begin to feel that ‘lost’ kinda thing

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1. My least favourite is when I begin to start doubting choices I’ve made. Easier said than done I know but you need to nip these worthless questions in the bud and when they pop up in your head try the hardest you can to stop thinking about them, replace these questions with simple daily life questions, like… what shall I have for tea tonight. You’ve probably been told it a million times before and deep down you know it but there is NOTHING you can do to change the choices so stop wondering ‘what if’ and start wondering ‘where next’.

2. When you start to worry about how your life is affecting others, so long as you are happy in yourself everyone who matters around you will be happy. The key word here is ‘matters’, not everyone around you matters and the ones who aren’t happy for you when you’re happy aren’t worth keeping around. So stop fretting about pleasing everyone and start trying to please yourself and be someone you would be proud of.

3. If you aren’t happy with where your life is, stop wondering why or how you got to this point and start picturing where you want to be. Then take some REAL me time and start working out how you can get there. Research courses you will need to take, places you want to go and the sorts of people you want to meet along the way.

4. When you’re feeling really down, surround yourself with people who love you. Visit family, plan date nights. Sometimes being proactive about life progression is near impossible when your head gets in a rut. Stop being so hard on yourself and just take an afternoon to do something you love with people you love. Tackle the problems when you’re feeling less downtrodden.

5. DO NOT under any circumstances compare yourself to anyone else. This is the worst thing you can do. You are what you make of your life and in the end no one is going to remember you for how much you looked like Kim Kardashian.

6. When you’re questioning yourself, take a few minutes out to think about what you would say to someone who was doing the same thing. Sometimes the best advice comes from yourself and it just takes a few moments away from the situation to work that one out.

7. Remember, no body gets to where they want to be overnight. It takes hard work, determination and patience. As long as you remember this you will not get as frustrated with your current situation in time.   No one got to where they wanted to be without a god damn fight!

Always remember, it is not how you got to where you want to be, all that is important is that you get there.

Much love, 

Joanna xx

Finding it difficult to blog

Everyday I kick myself for not blogging and I can’t tell you why I don’t. I have this complete and utter desire to blog all the time about things that mean a lot to me, or things i find interesting or fun but there is this massive wall.

Partly I think it is due to that fact I am a very ‘nothing will ever be good enough’ person. I find it incredibly difficult to let things go because I never feel like things I create or do are good enough. I never feel like things I do represent the real me? I know it sounds weird and stupid but unless you are similar to me in that sense I guess you’ll find it difficult to understand.

Am I also the only person who spend a lot of time thinking everyone else is doing it ‘right’ and I am the only one doing it wrong? ergh, sorry this is such a rambley blog but I just want think I need to put this down in words so I understand it better myself than having things jumbled up in my head where I usually keep everything in a mess.

Maybe it is an age thing and at the baby age of 22 I have’t quite worked myself out? or maybe I have worked myself out and this is it? a rambley person who always has about 2 million thoughts rushing through her mind and not the capability to convey them in a productive or meaningful way? That was one of the goals of starting a blog, but to date nothings improved.

This blog post has been a product of an evening reading and watching other blog posts and video blogs from people around the glob, writing and talking about a series of different topics and myself laying on my bed wondering why I can’t write or talk like that? I’ve lost track of the amount of blogs I’ve written and deleted because rereading them for the 600 time I’ve decided it cant go out. Hell, I closed two tabs about 20 mins ago, both of which had complete blog posts on. One was on difference in men and womens approach to relationships and the other on some recent research conducted by Simon Baron-Cohen. Why did I delete them? I am not sure. Was I sad to see 1200 words gone in the blink of an eye, no.

Hmmmm, I hope i get better at this stuff, I really would like to be someone people read the words of and feel inspired.

For the time being, Much love.

Joanna x

Seven ways to make bad days good days!

We all have them… ‘those days’ where the world hates us and we hate the world. But here are seven little things I try and consciously do on those days which helps make them slightly more bearable. I hope you find these useful. 

 

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1- Smile – simple as! Just keep that smile on your face as long as you can. There is something satisfying about walking around with a big grin on when inside you are anything but smiley. 

2- Make a joke of the things affecting you that day. If you joke about them you start to realise just how trivial they really are and the ones that aren’t so trivial it buys you some time to figure out how to deal with them rather than just stewing. 

3- Go for a drive with your favourite songs on a playlist, with the windows down singing your heart out. Even if you don’t have a destination. 

4- Don’t focus on the things getting you down, thats what they want! focus on the things that make you happy. Deal with the problems when you are in a more positive mind set, nothing good comes out of trying to solve problems when you’re grumpy and irritated.

5- Go out of your way to make someone else’s day brighter. 

6- Do some exercise, it will release some lovely endorphins which will perk you right up. 

7- Do not take it out on anyone else, all that does is make you unpopular and it doesn’t help you or your mood in anyway – if you can’t do this, just avoid people where you can. 

 

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So there we go seven ways to perk up your rubbish days. We all have them, don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re the only one! 

Much love,

Joanna x